


Hawkpop

by Doctorinblue



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: M/M, shower smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 00:56:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctorinblue/pseuds/Doctorinblue
Summary: There is enough hot water for a single shower. A short and single shower





	Hawkpop

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for your help Floot!

There is enough hot water for a single shower. A short and single shower. Hawkeye taps his fingers against his leg, a manic rhythm - all his post-surgery exhaustion circling around to too much. Too awake. Too aware of BJ's eyes, and the way he smells after too many hours in such close quarters. Hawkeye wants to run away. No, what he really wants (needs) to do is strip BJ of all his clothes, offer up his mouth, any and all services that might relieve the tension that has been stretching both of them too thin.

To say he's been on edge would be a massive understatement. BJ doesn't seem to be faring much better, judging by the steady stare across the tent and the same deep concentration on finding enough air to fill his lungs. The Swamp seems to lose all of it when they both cross the threshold these days.

Hawkeye has been trying, so damn hard, to keep his hands (and the rest of him) to himself. He's trying to stay on the straight and narrow, avoiding BJ, which seems to be working as well as avoiding any other source of pain in this place. At least BJ is worth shattering over. And how long can he possibly avoid his best friend, the man he's fallen heart-over-head in love with anyway. 

The camp, it turns out, is exceedingly small and BJ's orbit is inescapably strong.

The first few weeks of this delicious hell, Hawkeye had been certain he'd been dining alone. Table of lust for one, waiter. Then he read the letter. He saw the words, knows everything has shifted and for once (by some great miracle) it's moved into his favor. BJ has permission to love him. He nearly chokes on the word, tries to shift his thoughts back to the physical. He didn't come prepared to love.

BJ's eyes run down him again, and Hawkeye is inches from begging, listening ears be damned. He'll tear himself apart for the chance to touch BJ. He draws in a slow breath, certain he'll burst with need before either of them make a move.

They're both sweating despite being waist deep into winter. The last twelve hours in surgery has nothing to do with the feeling expanding from his stomach and settling like a death blow to the chest. He forces more air in. He needs BJ like he needs summer to return. Like he needs home. He aches, and the tension has to snap, even if it breaks them both apart. If he could just push BJ against the nearest solid surface, or if BJ took charge and...No. He can't let himself think about the what-ifs with BJ awake and so very alert. That's middle of the night, under the cover of darkness and blankets, thinking.

He clears his throat.

"Race you to the showers," he says and hopes it comes out as a joke because it sure as hell is more of a proposition. "First one gets the hot water."

"You're on," BJ says, hand already reaching for his robe.

Hawkeye leaps up, yanks his robe to his chest and starts for the door.

He loves a challenge, especially where BJ is involved, but more than his pride is on the line when he rushes from the Swamp. He doesn't slow to glance back, but the door doesn't slam in their rush, and he's thankful that BJ's still somewhat in a thinking state-of-mind. Hawkeye's head has been lust blown since about the time BJ's hand slipped into his.

He's shaking - thankfully only on the inside where it counts for everything. Yanking the shower door open, their hands slap against the closest stall in near unison. BJ's lands over his and stays, his thumb stroking the side of Hawkeye's palm in a way that makes Hawkeye's vision gray. Nothing about this is new to him, and everything about this is brand new and the combination leaves him speechless. Helpless. Laughter vibrates against his back, and this is still BJ, and he wants to join in but the only noise he manages to produce sounds more whimper than mirth.

Room. There's room for him in BJ's heart. Peg already loves him. He stared at the letter in disbelief, shoved it back into BJ's hands and ran from the Swamp like the love coward he is....but now. Now with BJ hard against his back, it feels like a dare. A double dare. Let me love you, Hawk. I dare you.

"We could share."

The words come out like stone, seem to fall heavily and painfully on his toes. Letting out a long and slow breath, he starts to turn and BJ retreats from him at once. If Hawkeye has this all wrong, if he somehow mistook this for something it isn't, he'll walk himself right into a minefield.

"It'll save water," BJ says.

He's tugging his shirt off and Hawkeye hurries to turn, knows there is no way he should be this hard. They've not done a thing, they've barely touched, and he's on a hair trigger here.

Starting to undress, he tries to ignore the sound of fabric behind him. He's seen BJ without clothes a few hundred times, from the shower to the Swamp, they've covered naked head to toes. But it's never been this. It's never been real. 

When he can't pretend to be stripping another moment, he steps into the stall. It feels small, and he forgets how lungs are supposed to work when BJ climbs in after him.

"Hello, sailor," BJ says and neither of them is reaching out to tug the chain.

It's freezing, but Hawkeye sure as hell isn't. He's burning up, running a fever, on the verge of full combustion, he can't be certain.

"That's my line."

He's done this, several times, with both men and women. The moves are second hand, even if the people never are. But this is BJ. His heart needs BJ even more than his body (and the thought makes him want to call retreat) and his giving anything away feels like giving everything away.

BJ is smiling and he's clearly gotten the upper hand while Hawkeye was busy swooning. BJ reaches over his shoulder, yanks the chain, and hot water blasts out over them. Hawkeye grabs the soap. If he's falling, and he's already hit bottom, he's doing it with a semblance of control.

"Let me wash your back," he says.

He squeezes the soap between his palms, sudsing up his hands as BJ turns. He runs his eyes down BJ’s body, squeezes the bar a little too hard, and it shoots from his grasp. His eyes follow it as it hits the tent wall, bounces down to the ground and goes still. BJ's laughter echoes in the stall, and Hawekeye stares at the bubbles in his now empty palms. The pressure is suddenly gone and Hawkeye grins. He's in so much trouble here, and there's no place he's more comfortable.

The laughter dies off, and BJ looks over his shoulder. There is something about that look that makes Hawkeye want to fall to his knees and beg for anything and everything - for a tomorrow and a forever, his body and his heart.

"Short on hot water, Hawk."

Hawkeye can translate. Short on time. Together and alone. For something they have quite a bit of, it has suddenly become in short supply.

He rubs his palms together once more, then works them over BJ's shoulders, down his back. BJ's head drops forward and Hawkeye rubs his lower back. He knows he should stop, but nothing in BJ's groan suggests that it’s what either of them wants to happen.

Sliding his hands lower, he swallows when BJ lets out another small noise. It's soft and full of need, and he's turning before Hawkeye can process that BJ wants him just as badly. His hands wrap over Hawkeye's, capturing soap and he's rubbing his own palms together.

"Hawk?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me already."

Hawkeye reaches out, fingers slipping off BJ's side at first attempt. The second lands and he tugs BJ in close, right up against his body. He has to lean up against him to kiss him properly, and it might kill him to feel BJ's tongue against his lip but he'll go out a happy man.

BJ's into this. So very into this. His body presses harder into Hawkeye but his touch is light. His fingers run through Hawkeye's hair and over his shoulders. He should have known it'd be so gentle. BJ's soft....so good. He swallows, distracts himself by holding BJ closer. Now isn't the time to count the cost before it's been paid. He'll worry about that later.

BJ backs him to the wall, kneels in front of him. Hawkeye expected to be in charge, thinks of saying so, only he's forgotten how to make words. BJ's hand wraps around Hawkeye and a single stroke fizzles out the rest of any potential protest.

He's not sure if BJ's done this before, knows for sure that he hasn't since Peg (BJ doesn't cheat; whatever this is, it's a new line in loyalty), but his hands suggest he knows the moves. Another slow stroke and he tilts away, and cold water hits Hawkeye in the chest.

He squeals.

BJ smiles up at him, reaches back and yanks the chain. The water stops, and he's not sure they're actually that much cleaner, but BJ's mouth touches him and nothing else will ever matter again. The whole world is this moment. He's so in love, he'll never escape. He closes his eyes, clenches his fist, and if anyone walks in on them everything is over, but Hawkeye has no willpower to suggest (dream of) BJ stopping now.

BJ's mouth is so hot, and his grip is tight and everything that's not been said wants to pour from Hawkeye's mouth. He fights back, holds it in until he shatters.

"I love you," he says, when the words refuse to be pinned any longer.

BJ stands and dips his head beneath the cold water. Hawkeye watches him. He's handed a towel, and BJ doesn't say it. Doesn't say anything actually, and Hawkeye's drying quicker than the self-doubt can fill him completely. Or at least he's trying.

"What about -" Hawkeye finally asks.

What if he's wrong? What if this isn't…

"Won't be much hot water tomorrow, either," BJ says, and hands Hawkeye his robe. "We should probably share again."

Hawkeye exhales. Thinking of the next day usually fills him with dread - less so since the arrival of human sunshine here - but he's ready for tomorrow already.

He follows BJ out and back to the Swamp. Nothing has changed. The war and army and world are still against them, this, but it doesn't seem to matter quite so much. He's not alone, for the first time in so long. BJ stops, leans down into his space, lips against his ear.

"I love you too, Hawk," he says. "We love you. "

Then he's gone, and Hawkeye is left staring at the Swamp door. He's been in love before, of course. He's had his heart broken, but he doesn't believe for a moment BJ would ever do that on purpose. And Peg. This woman he's never met, has only ever written, has made room in her life and marriage for a fool like him.

He's grins at the door, to himself, hell he'd grin at Klinger if he passed by. He heads inside and for the first time since he's landed in Korea he feels like a lucky man.


End file.
